An additional thought to all of the dominant – To take advantage of new sub-girls
Written by: Wulfen, translated by: Profossgbg
One thing that scares me is how new, submissive girls on the DS (the darkside.se/ed) is attacked. I am writing from a perspective that is a heterosexual, submissive girl who entered this world almost a year ago.
The Attitude “Ahh! A new toy! That one’s hall we snag, before she learns to get to know herself”. Foe the dominant this is not entirely uncommon, and then added very little emphasis on her awareness of the risks, the kinks or the security. Many new on the DS comes from a context that previously had not dared to realize her sexual dreams, have been stuck in a vanilla relation or recently having discovered a new side of the sexuality. Then to find the Darkside and as the girl quickly gets approached by hundreds of men means that you get proposal from a world that can be quite intoxicating, as culture and as practice. It can lead to a kind of immensity. You want everything now, now, NOW!!!
In my short time in this world, I have seen inexperienced girls who went on trips with men unknown, inexperienced girls who allow themselves to be gang dominated of total unknown men without any parachute and inexperienced girls who go away and are utilized for a one time session on the basis of promises that will be broken. For the inexperienced is the defence around the lack of safety features just in to be inexperienced. Of course you can talk about that everyone has a responsibility for herself about what to learn in advance regarding these issues. In practice, however, it is not so, which leaves the primary responsibility on the one who actually is experienced.
The dominant has got a responsibility not to take advantage of a beginner’s sense of adventure, to move slowly and not treat the person as a wear – and a single use toy. Yes we know, you are horny and it is great fun with people going along with what anything at any time without any requirements back. And it is possible to use. Is it therefore right? No!
It is never possible to build a good, deep relationship without trust. It is never possible to build a deep relationship that does not respect each other’s bodies, emotions and intellect. It doesn’t matter if someone is ready to give, the counterparty must also be ready to take. I think it’s called reciprocity.
It is however possible to pollute people’s souls in this way. To take them down to the R-E-A-L-I-T-Y, preferably in a context of at the same time blaming them for giving the trust. When the reciprocity is lost damaged not only the submisives relationship to herself and her body, but also the dominant relationship to himself and the world. People do not feel good oppressing or being oppressed, and the structures which legitimises this is a direct threat to the love, friendship and enjoyment.
My purpose with this article is not to make new submissive girls legally incompetent or to take from them the responsibility of the safety approach. The aim is to encourage dominant males to consider themselves and to consider what positions they try with other people’s feelings and bodies. Few dominant seek to damage, but many are naive. In itself, it is irresponsible not to deliberately fight ones naivety, as a dominant, because the premise in which a submissive goes in to BDSM is with her body as stake.